Yea, you have most likely met her. She is the one who slides up next to you while you are working at your desk and whispers things in your ear. No, not nice things, things like “You aren’t good enough.” You can’t do that as good as___.”
She will get you at the worst of all moments and try her best to bring you down. Don’t let her. She is not your friend!
See, I had a run in with her last month. I was hired to do a site design from someone that I totally look up to. It was super exciting until, I actually started the work. Miss Sabotage came creeping in and told me things like “she won’t like that idea” and “she can hire better designers than you.” It made me freeze each time I opened my computer and began working.
What normally takes me days to complete became weeks all because of my self-sabotage. Finally, I felt that I needed to be up front with my client and tell her exactly what was happening and I am grateful that she understood. She then told me that she hired me for ME and she needed ME to be HER expert. Ah.
Soon after the talk with my client, my creative self dove in and really got the project moving. I shut Miss Sabotage up and haven’t heard from her since.
So now, why do we let self-sabotage run us? What is in the human brain that does this?
Self-sabotage can come from a number of things like low self-esteem, fear of goals or deadlines, not seeing our self-worth and a whole list of other things. I found an awesome article here.
To get rid of Miss Sabotage, we need to change our ways of thinking and replace the self-sabotage and doubts with pats on our own backs and reassurances that we are worthy. Focus on how we are the solution for others. Take more risks in life. Most importantly, embrace our unique qualities as gifts rather than flaws.
Look, nobody is perfect and the world gets that. What you do for a living or anything else for that matter, you do totally different from anyone else. You are uniquely special and have a gift that the world needs- delivered YOUR way.
One thing that I vow to stop doing is comparing my work to others. I’ll tell you, when I was little, my Grandma and all of her Italian sisters would compete to see who made the best Sunday “gravy” (that’s spaghetti sauce). What a stupid competition! Why? Because no two pots of sauce will ever be the same because each cook has a different way of doing things and different perceptions. Same goes with everything else. No two anythings are alike. PERIOD.
I am so glad that I was able to make her go away and hope that if she shows up near you, you can chase her off as well. She is no good, I tell ya.
Your turn: How do you deal with Self-Sabotage?